Click
on picture to enlarge.Emails from Kirsten and Naoto
May 2002
Date: Fri, 3 May 2002 16:10:33 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: The Importance of Following Procedures
Dear Friends and Family:
HI there. We are in the middle of "Golden Week", a concentration of holidays in the beginning of May that everyone has off. The roads and trains are crowded beyond belief. Naoto and decided to stay home and just take day trips (mia still hates the car) II thought I would take the time to write another email to everyone.
In Mia news, she is starting to sit by herself these days. She often falls over when she reaches for something, but she is getting better and better. She also spends quite a lot of time laying on her back practicing esoteric hand exercises in front of her face. She favors her right hand when she does this, so I think she is going to be right-handed. Mia and Naoto get along very well together. Naoto plays "fishing" with her. He ties a toy to a piece of string and stands over her "fly fishing". Mia still cries when she sees me when I come home and won’t stop until I am holding her. However, she no longer cries when I leave in the morning, which is a big relief, let me tell you. Like I need the guilt. Her favorite toys right now are CD cases and a little, wooden, carved horse from Slovakia. (thanks Mark and Jana)
The Importance of Following Procedures
One of my fellow teachers said to me the other day. "If you have the right paperwork, you can do anything in Japan. Even if it is illegal, if you have the right paperwork, things go smoothly. God help you if you don’t have the right paperwork, though."
Funny. I think that was the problem behind all of our setting up nightmares. Naoto and I don’t fit into the usual pattern of japanese couplehood, nor the usual pattern of international marriage couplehood (where the woman stays home and is a housewife.) we didn’t have the right paperwork. Now that I think about it, though, its true about many things in Japan. If you know the correct phrase, the right application paper, things do go very smoothly. Even if you are a foreigner, that can be overlooked if you say the right responses a the right time.
For example, at grocery stores (and most other stores for that matter) the clerks have this set pattern of what they say to each customer. Something like "Welcome. Do you have a savings card? " then they tell you the price of each item you are buying as it is scanned into the system. Then they tell you the total, then they use a polite set phrase for accepting your money and giving you change. It NEVER varies. They ALWAYS say the same thing. (I have even seen them practicing this litany in a chorus just as the store opens up in the morning.)
If I say "yes" at the right time and smile, then the clerks are so nice to me. It’s as if they are relieved I am not going to upset the boat. Yet I saw a Japanese woman interrupt the litany once and ask something. The clerk became a flurry of consternation, the manager had to be called in, and everyone was a flutter. She should have just followed procedure.
Another example is that I am not officially a "teacher" at Josai. I am a "research associate" due to tax and personnel laws that limit how many foreigners a university can hire as full time teachers. As a "research associate" I have a "research day" once a week when I don’t teach classes. Officially, I am supposed to be in my office on that day "researching." I have been told this sternly many times by different people. However, unofficially, no one does this. In fact many other teachers teach at different universities on that day. (I play with Mia.) This never seems to be a problem except when you don’t follow procedure. The procedure I am talking about now is the attendance book we are supposed to sign in on. One fellow teacher refused to sign in on his "research day" on the principle that it was ridiculous to expect us to be at school when we aren’t teaching and why do they call us "researchers" when we are so obviously professors. Well, he got called onto the carpet for it. Whereas I, and most other teachers, wait until the end of the month, and then go stamp ourselves in for each day all at once, regardless of whether we were there or not. This practice is fine, it seems. He should have followed procedure.
I guess this long story just kind of points to what I think is a major part of Japanese society and culture. (for better or worse, who am I to say?) If you follow the letter of the law, it doesn’t really matter what you are really doing. You can get away with murder that way.
Anyway, Naoto and I are going to visit friends from Monterey (my grad school) who are living nearby in Chiba. They just had a baby boy a month ago. I can’t wait to see how Mia reacts to the other baby.
Love and light,
kirsten
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on picture to enlarge.
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 22:58:26 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Itsy Bitsy Spiders and Big Jolts
Dear Friends and Family:
Another week has passed here in Gumyo, and almost every day has brought rain. I tell Naoto we are in training for living in Seattle/Portland. J
Mia’s favorite toys are currently a red and yellow potholder Linda bought for us in San Francisco, and a carved, wooden horse from Slovakia. Of course she is mostly interested in whatever an adult is currently holding at the time. If I am drinking from the yellow, plastic Iowa Hawkeyes cup, then she refuses to use her own bottle or sippy cup. She whines and whines until I let her try to drink from the Iowa cup. Of course she can’t, and ends up spilling most of it down the front of her shirt.
Mia is turning completely over! She rolls over and over (only one direction, currently.) I think Naoto spends a lot of time playing roll over with her in our sleeping room. The other great thing is that she no longer hates the car because we got her a new car seat. In this one, she can see out the windows. Hallelujah, we can start going places now! Our first trip was to Costco forty minutes away in Makuhari. It was so weird to be surrounded by frozen shrimp, refried beans, and great chunks of lucscious cheese. I kept expecting to turn the corner and see my Dad and Linda. On the way there we stopped to visit Genji Bunch and his new son, Sho. Genji (an american married to a japanese woman) was with me at the Monterey Institute. He is also teaching at a university in Chiba.
Itsy Bitsy Spiders
The first day I saw our house, I noticed that it was currently occupied by legions of small, brown spiders. I figured once we moved in, they would get scared and leave. I was wrong. Over the past month I have conducted a concentrated program of genocide, however, they still have control over our two empty rooms upstairs, as well as making brief appearances downstairs. The thing is, they jump. It’s a little startling to watch one on the wall, and then have it come flying through the air at you.
For a while I was concerned they might bite. Every time Mia woke up in the night crying, I was worried a spider bit her. As no bites have appeared on any of us, I am no longer worried about that. However, I must concede defeat to them. As long as they stay mostly upstairs, we won’t have a problem.
Of course there is also the big daddy spider who keeps making a gigantic web between the roof and our second floor veranda. Every time I go up there to lay out our futons in order to lay them out, I have to destroy a huge web with the futon beater. Last week, I every backhanded the spider over the veranda and down into the grass below. He seems to have returned this week, however. There’s another web there now.
Big Jolts
Did I ever mention Japan is located at the collision of two tectonic plates being subsumed under another plate? Chiba is "supposed" to not be so dangerous, according to Naoto. We’ve been here, what, a month and a half? I’ve already been through four earthquakes. One of them was really weird. Usually they start out with a slight shaking. The shaking either escalates, whereupon you confirm the location of your valuables and begin escape route planning, or it subsides and you just laugh it off. This one was a gigantic jolt upwards, almost like everything in the room decided to just jump straight up in the air all at once. Then there was a little shaking, and then it was over. I was freaked out about it, Naoto was very blasé about it all, and Mia, of course, slept right through it. Now it has been decided that in the event of a big one, I am responsible for getting Mia out, and Naoto will go for a wallet. I am glad that’s all settled.
Love and light,
kirsten
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Date: Sat, 11 May 2002 03:46:53 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: weird japanese english
hello again. I forgot to include these weird examples of Japanese English in my letter.
On a box of cookies:
ENjoy the superb taste of cake made with the finest ingredients. Beautiful things are timeless. Women throughout history have never ceased to yearn for beauty.
(because of course women don't yearn for cookies.)
ON a bag of japanese snack senbei and peanuts:
Let's have joyful talking with FRESH BEANS. Every time and every where, it's so delicious. Best of the world. FRESH PACK!
(because one can't have joyful talking without FRESH BEANS!)
love and light,
kirsten
Date: Wed, 29 May 2002 16:38:52 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: my beautiful, beautiful daughter
Dear Friends and Family:
I just wanted to share this photo with you. I look at Mia, and I cannot believe that she issued from me! I still can`t believe they let me take her home from the hospital at all. Anyway, Mia is doing well (as you can see). She is starting to babble quite a lot these days, especially the syllable "da da da".
I have recently become aware that when I praise Mia, all I say is *you are so cute*, or *you are so beautiful*. The Earlham feminist in me is making me feel like I am already making it difficult for her to see beyond her physical looks, and she is only 7 months! Now I try to say, *you are so strong* or *you are so clever, you figured out how to....*. I kind of want to say, *come here you little nascent nobel laureate in science*, but maybe that`s too much pressure?
Love and light from Gumyo,
kirsten
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on picture to enlarge.